In Ephesians 5:28-29, the Bible says, “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.” (KJV). The spiritual and emotional chemistry of marriage projects a union of two that is truly one with genuine bonding and consummate love. Each spouse should love his/her partner as himself/herself; because each one sees himself/herself as one with himself/herself.
However, it is sad reality that we have scenario of one spouse actually hating the other not in few marriages! Spouses are like cat and mouse holed together in some marriages! The hatefulness is manifest in hurtful deeds towards one’s own spouse! How can this be?
Why could it be that one spouse feels cool doing hurt to the other? Really, seeing such thing happens grieves my spirit sore! A husband told me some years ago that he would make the life of his own wife miserable! What manner of man/husband is this! I mean, this doing of hurt is a deliberate thing: the evil is done aware and awake! Why can this be?
I have summed up the possible reasons why a husband or wife may love to hurt his or her own spouse into just two. Really, I have long found these same reasons behind virtually all other marital crimes! What are these reasons? IGNORANCE and WICKED HEART they are!
When you hurt your spouse, you hurt yourself; because the two of you are “one flesh”. He that loveth his wife loveth himself, the Bible says. Same: She that loveth her husband loverth herself. Then, it must also mean that, He or she that hurteth his or her wife or husband hurteth himself or herself! So, I will say that ignorance of who you are hurting may be why you feel cool doing hurt to your own spouse. You don’t know that you are hurting yourself. I think that is some insane ignorancy! I have seen some insane/mad people hurting their own body without knowing or feeling it. Are you also insane? Think upon that!
Again, when a man or woman carries a wicked heart, the manifestation of his or her wicked heart might sometimes violate boundaries of affinity, including matrimonial! Doing hurt to one’s own spouse is usually borne out of hatred towards such spouse; for love does no hurt to its object. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, the Bible says. “The merciful man doeth good to his own soul: but he that is cruel troubleth his own flesh”, Proverbs 11:17 says. If you love, feel cool, or care not to do your spouse hurt, that shows that you are cruel; you are a wicked person! That heart is not from God. You need divine heart surgery urgently!
You sin that loves to hurt or see your own spouse hurt. You are an ignoramus. You are a hater of your own flesh. You are a wicked person! I plead with you today: Repent, pray for God’s mercy and forgiveness, pray God for a new heart towards your own spouse; turn a new leaf from today. May God help you to heed this counsel, Amen!
Author: Dayo St. John
[Pastor Dayo St. John is God’s Helmsman for Help for the Family Ministry. He and his family, as well as the Ministry’s Headquarters, are based in Lagos, Nigeria.]
helpforthefamilyministry@gmail.com
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