I have long discovered that IGNORANCE is at the root of why most married people make a mess of the otherwise honourable estate that marriage truly is. Yes, even many of God’s people in marriage aren’t excusable from this messy lot! [Hosea 4:6]. Sadly, most married ones do not really have a correct knowledge of who they are married to! How can a man or woman live rightly with a spouse he or she does not rightly know? Of course, for this ignorance, mishandling of spouses and the underlining relationships is rife.

How I wish every spouse does have what I termed “ADAM’S REVELATION”! Let’s see it written in Gen. 2:23:

“And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” (NKJV)

New Living Translation of the Bible renders this scripture really better homely:

“This is it!” Adam exclaimed. “She is part of my own bone and flesh! Her name is ‘woman’ because she was taken out of man”

I hope you realize that Adam was seeing this ‘new being’ for the very first time. Honestly, I suppose it would have being logical had Adam said to God, “Is this another creature? Have you brought it for christening like the others?” [Gen. 2:19-20]. But, no, Adam wasn’t seeing another or a strange creature! He was rather seeing the person he shared creative origin and commonness with! [Gen. 1:27]. I am convinced that Eve would have concurred in her words, were they to be written.

Who told Adam who this person was? Believe me, it was not flesh and blood! [Matt. 16:17]. He caught a clear revelation from God’s Spirit, and he so exclaimed!

This statement from the mouth of the first ever husband, and in the mind of the first ever wife, is very instructive. It provides salient truth that I wish all married men and women really know and heartily put into right perspective and practice in their relationship.

Let me here articulate some sure implications of this Adam’s Revelation.

1. Right Identification and Definition: He said, “She is part of my own bone and flesh”. He clearly and rightly identified “himself” in the person of his new wife, and so rightly defined her personhood. He was surely not seeing “someone else”. Correct identity engenders correct relationship. I’m sure that right identification of the spouse would motivate right mood of relationship. Knowing that you are not in relationship with “another” would motivate you to nourish and cherish your spouse as you would your own self [Eph. 5:29]

• Right Conviction: The Bible says. “…..  “She is part of my own bone and flesh”. The Bible says, “…. Let each be fully convinced in his own mind” [Rom. 14:5]. He was so sure who the person of his spouse was. He had no doubt that this is the woman God had made for him, just as He has promised [Gen. 2:18]. Being fully persuaded that you have married your own bone of bones should encourage perfect harmony and oneness.

• Right Valuation: Adam rightly esteemed his wife. He knew the right worth of his wife. Wrong valuation will lead to wrong usage. If something is highly prized, it will be highly precious and carefully used for desired ends.

• Right Understanding: He understood that this is the product of the rib that was taken away from him. God commands husbands to dwell with their wives “with understanding” [1 Pet. 3:7]. Really, how many husbands truly understand their wives? How many men have correct understanding of the being called “woman” – and vice versa? How can you dwell “with understanding” with a being you don’t have correct understanding of? And, we need such right understanding to build a blissful home [Prov. 24:3-4].

• Right Acceptation: He rightly accept the “gift and favour of God” [Prov. 18:22]. He was enthusiastic about the woman God brought to him. He was happy.  He was content.  He welcomed her with a joyful heart. He was well satisfied with the Lord’s workmanship and handiwork. He had no complaint.

• Right Gratitude: The tone of his statement also reveals that he was very grateful to God over the woman God had presented to him. He was thankful that God has given him the best.

• Right Attitude: Summarily, Adam started his marriage with the right attitude – right viewpoint; right frame of mind.

Remember that Adam/Eve had this revelation at the very beginning of their relationship. Yes, that is the right stage to catch this “spiritual insight” about one’s spouse, ditto marriage as an institution.  However, if you are married without this salient insight, you can always trust God to give it to you NOW: and, surely, He will.

It is also highly imperative to retain this revelation in marriage. Good to have it at the entry point; more needful to carry it along the route to marriage excellence. This revelation should sustain the fabrics of the relationship, in spite of all threats that may confront it along the way. The lost of this revelation will certainly spell doom for the relationship it birthed.

For instance, granted that you were convinced about the rightness of the choice of your spouse. That would be what I termed “initial conviction”. That would be very great beginning indeed. But, do you still retain that first conviction intact years after? In many marriages, the answer is far from affirmative! There is need for “continuous conviction”, which is the fruit of sustained and strengthened initial conviction. Lose of initial conviction produces regrets and negative attitude and deeds in marriage setting.

Another instance: It is possible to lose initial right definition may be lost along the line. Adam had this experience after his perception was twisted by sin! In Gen. 3:12, Adam gave a new definition to his wife – “The woman whom You gave to be with me”! No longer “sugar in my tea” but now “cockroach in my cupboard”! How sin changes man’s perceptiveness!

Who are you married to, friend? Only you have the correct answer! You only need to be sincere. I encourage you to take up the matter with God if you have less than Adam’s revelation on the personhood of the man / woman you are married to.

Author: Dayo St. John

[Pastor Dayo St. John is God’s Helmsman for Help for the Family Ministry. He and his family, as well as the Ministry’s Headquarters, are based in Lagos, Nigeria.]

info@helpforthefamily.com

helpforthefamilyministry@gmail.com

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