[For married women]

The bible projects many and diverse characters from whom we could learn one good or the other, or avoid following bad examples. I find it compelling to share with you herein a few profitable lessons from a certain married woman in a town called Shunem with whom Elisha the man of God had good encounter during his ministry. The story can be found in 2Kings 4:8-37. Let me quote it for your immediate use.

“8 ¶ One day Elisha went on to Shunem, where a wealthy woman lived, who urged him to eat some food. So whenever he passed that way, he would turn in there to eat food.

9 And she said to her husband, “Behold now, I perceive that this is a holy man of God, who is continually passing our way.

10 Let us make a small roof chamber with walls, and put there for him a bed, a table, a chair, and a lamp, so that whenever he comes to us, he can go in there.”

11 One day he came there, and he turned into the chamber and rested there.

12 And he said to Gehazi his servant, “Call this Shunammite.” When he had called her, she stood before him.

13 And he said to him, “Say now to her, See, you have taken all this trouble for us; what is to be done for you? Would you have a word spoken on your behalf to the king or to the commander of the army?” She answered, “I dwell among my own people.”

14 And he said, “What then is to be done for her?” Gehazi answered, “Well, she has no son, and her husband is old.”

15 He said, “Call her.” And when he had called her, she stood in the doorway.

16 And he said, “At this season, when the time comes round, you shall embrace a son.” And she said, “No, my lord, O man of God; do not lie to your maidservant.”

17 But the woman conceived, and she bore a son about that time the following spring, as Elisha had said to her.

18 ¶ When the child had grown, he went out one day to his father among the reapers.

19 And he said to his father, “Oh, my head, my head!” The father said to his servant, “Carry him to his mother.”

20 And when he had lifted him, and brought him to his mother, the child sat on her lap till noon, and then he died.

21 And she went up and laid him on the bed of the man of God, and shut the door upon him, and went out.

22 Then she called to her husband, and said, “Send me one of the servants and one of the asses, that I may quickly go to the man of God, and come back again.”

23 And he said, “Why will you go to him today? It is neither new moon nor sabbath.” She said, “It will be well.”

24 Then she saddled the ass, and she said to her servant, “Urge the beast on; do not slacken the pace for me unless I tell you.”

25 So she set out, and came to the man of God at Mount Carmel. When the man of God saw her coming, he said to Gehazi his servant, “Look, yonder is the Shunammite;

26 run at once to meet her, and say to her, Is it well with you? Is it well with your husband? Is it well with the child?” And she answered, “It is well.”

27 And when she came to the mountain to the man of God, she caught hold of his feet. And Gehazi came to thrust her away. But the man of God said, “Let her alone, for she is in bitter distress; and the LORD has hidden it from me, and has not told me.”

28 Then she said, “Did I ask my lord for a son? Did I not say, Do not deceive me?”

29 He said to Gehazi, “Gird up your loins, and take my staff in your hand, and go. If you meet any one, do not salute him; and if any one salutes you, do not reply; and lay my staff upon the face of the child.”

30 Then the mother of the child said, “As the LORD lives, and as you yourself live, I will not leave you.” So he arose and followed her.

31 Gehazi went on ahead and laid the staff upon the face of the child, but there was no sound or sign of life. Therefore he returned to meet him, and told him, “The child has not awaked.”

32 When Elisha came into the house, he saw the child lying dead on his bed.

33 So he went in and shut the door upon the two of them, and prayed to the LORD.

34 Then he went up and lay upon the child, putting his mouth upon his mouth, his eyes upon his eyes, and his hands upon his hands; and as he stretched himself upon him, the flesh of the child became warm.

35 Then he got up again, and walked once to and fro in the house, and went up, and stretched himself upon him; the child sneezed seven times, and the child opened his eyes.

36 Then he summoned Gehazi and said, “Call this Shunammite.” So he called her. And when she came to him, he said, “Take up your son.”

37 She came and fell at his feet, bowing to the ground; then she took up her son and went out.”  {Revised Standard Version}

Let’s straightway understand some facts about this woman and her home:

• She’s wealthy and highly placed in the society.
• Obviously, she’d been married for a long time.
• She was “barren” and had no child.
• Yet, she had a peaceful and successful marriage/home.
• Her hubby is a rich businessman as well.
• She had an understanding and faithful husband.
• She seemed to have given up hope of child-bearing before this encounter with Elisha, the man of God.
• She lived peacefully with her family and in-laws.

How was this woman able to build her home, despite the big challenge of childlessness? What was it that endeared her to her husband and everybody around her? She said, “I dwell among my own people.” In New Living Translation, it’s rendered, “My family takes good care of me”. I thought she should rather be having troubles with her husband and the family, especially because of her inability to give birth? What stands her out among women, and what lessons can a woman who desires a successful and peaceful home, in spite of whatsoever challenge(s), learn from this great woman? This is what we are into here. Let’s move on.

1. She knew and loved the Living God – This is obvious in verse 9 & 10. She knew and loved the man of God because she knew and love the God of the man. She was able to know that Elisha was a holy man of God by the Spirit of the Holy God indwelling her. As a married woman, the no.1 ally you need to make a successful home is the Author of marriage Himself, the Almighty God. If you have the Spirit of God in you, He will guide you on how to handle your life and home,despite any challenges, If God’s on your side, you can surmount any mountain and overcome the worst of challenges. Do you know, love and have Him as your Ally? Do you give Him room in your life and home? You are really helpless without this Help-of-the-helpless!
2. She honoured a man of God – How much she honoured this man of God could be deduced from the way and manner she went about tastefully furnishing the “pastor’s apartment” and took his affairs and welfare seriously. And that is in spite of her wealth and high position in the society. She took it as a privilege and great honour from and to God to cater for His servant. When you honour a man of God, you are actually not honouring the man, per se, but the God of the man. And you can be sure that God will honour you back and reward you abundantly for that.
3. Had holy inspiration and was positively inspiring – She said, “Behold now, I perceive that this is a holy man of God, who is continually passing our way”. What a godly perception! And she inspired her hubby unto hosting [a man of] God in their home. Are you inspiring or provoking your husband and your household to well-doing, or you are like Sapphira who inspired, aided and abetted her own husband, Ananias, unto evil-doing and self-destruction [Acts 5:1-11]? She demonstrated here a wonderful way to be help-meet indeed. You may have a great deal of lesson to learn herein.
4. Hospitable – You may not know when you’ll entertain an angel, if you are such a person that is oft welcoming, accommodating and hospitable. Sarah and her home never knew the reward awaiting them when they were being hospitable to the Trinity who was merely passing by their house as human trinity [Gen18]. This woman [and, of course, her hubby] was just being naturally welcoming and open-handed, not expecting the handful of blessing that followed after. The Bible says “Giving to the needs of the saints, ready to take people into your houses.” [Bible in Basic English]. I’m sure this great woman was just repeating to Elisha what she was used to doing to others even of lower pedigree. No wonder she was well beloved and tolerated by the family! You can use hospitality to win favour even from those who ordinarily are wont to stand contrary to you, madam.
5. Humble & submissive – Even though she was rich and highly placed, yet her humility was conspicuously evident in that story. See the way she humbly approached her husband and presented her request for the man of God. Even when Elisha, willing to show his gratitude to her, said, “See, you have taken all this trouble for us; what is to be done for you? Would you have a word spoken on your behalf to the king or to the commander of the army?”, she rather humbly turned down such a great opportunity to be lifted up to higher place in the kingdom. She was satisfied with her “humble” home. “I dwell among my own people”, she said. Her humble submissiveness to her husband in all things is very evident in this story [Eph 5:22-24]. This is probably the greatest need in many married women conduct today. Is it so about you too?
6. Able to take positive initiatives – Look closely at verses 9-10, 22-23. But for this woman’s initiative, the home would have missed out of the eventual good turn. Yet, you will notice that her gambit was clothed with a sense of humility. She wasn’t such a blatant hijacker of headship of the home, like Eve, Sarah and Rachael, for instance [Gen 3, 16 & 30]. Also, she wasn’t insolent to her husband in her pursuit of the good of the home. She made every of her opening move in humble submission to her husband, and with his explicit agreement. She was just being resourceful and dynamic. Every woman needs this element in order to be a good wife and mother.
7. She has faith in God – The whole story proves this. Not only did she love God and His servant, she also believed in God and His prophets. In 2Chron. 20:20, the Bible says, “…have faith in the Lord your God and you will be safe; have faith in his prophets and all will go well for you” [BBE].When you have faith in God, all things are possible with you [Mark 9:23]. More over, to be able to please God, you’ve got to have faith in Him [Heb 11:6]. Her strong faith in God and trust in His servant was maximally expressed when the terrible challenge of her son’s death came calling [verses 18-30]. She was lifted by her faith when at the lowest ebb of life, declaring by faith that “it is well” when it’s all glaring that it is unwell! Madam, that you are going to face challenges, some very daunting and highly engulfing, is rather good news than bad! How you handle such whenever they come is what really calls for care. Besides the need for cheerfulness, prayers and thanksgiving at such times, of greater need is for unshaken faith in the God who is able to enable one overcome every challenge, however tough. This woman was a woman of faith; you too need be, ma.
8. Not contentious or quarrelsome – The Bible says, “It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a contentious woman in a wide house. It is better to dwell in a desert land, than with a contentious and fretful woman.” [Pr 21:9, 19 ASV]. Moreover, it says, “A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping” [Pr 19:13 NLT]. Were this woman to be such a continuously contentious, quarrelsome and annoying person, do you think she would have lasted and had such peace and love she obtained in her husband’s house, especially considering her delicate state as an “unfruitful tree”? You know that wouldn’t have been the case. Can you imagine how some women would have reacted by the time the husband “uncaringly” sent the sick boy home, or when he tried to “discourage” the woman from immediately going to the man of God after the boy had passed out? [See verses 18, 19, and 23]. Rather, this woman quietly and calmly took the gauntlet that her hubby dropped to seek the good of the home. That’s a big challenge to many women, probably including your very self!
9. Very thankful – After her child was brought back to life by the man of God, “She came and fell at his feet, bowing to the ground”. She appreciated God for what He had done for her. But we need to know here that this is not a one-off expression, but an outflow of a well cultivated attitude of gratitude to God. By the time she admitted the man of God to her house and was being kind to him, honestly, she had ample reason not to do so. She could have churn the man whose God had closed her womb from given birth and had brought much distress to her soul and disgrace to her person, you know. I could see her attitude here as that of a person who’s thankful to God in all circumstances, even showing that forth through her good work for the Lord [1 Thess 5:18]. She was gladly willing to appreciate God for what He has done for her, notwithstanding what He hasn’t done for her. What a blessed attitude that’s worthy of emulation by all, especially married women.

• A wise home-builder. The Bible says that “The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish pulls it down with her hands.” [NKJV]. All the above sums up the fact that this woman was indeed a very wise woman. No wonder she was able not only to hold her home together despite her great challenge, but as well as to be able to build the home unto such a stable, peaceful and fulfilling state. God seems to place the onus of home-building, home-management and home-making more on the woman’s shoulder than the man’s. Why, I do not know. He says, “Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully” [1 Tim 5:24 NKJV], and “to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed” [Titus 2:5 NKJV]. By the time you consider the model virtuous woman described in Proverbs 31:10-31, you will probably grasp the onerous task a woman is called to bear in home-building business. It requires more that cheer brute to get such task done; it requires godly brain – which is godly wisdom! “Through wisdom a house is built, And by understanding it is established; By knowledge the rooms are filled With all precious and pleasant riches” says the Word of God in Prov. 24:3-4 [NKJV]. This woman was greatly helped to build, manage and make her home unto a place of rest and joy through godly wisdom, understanding and knowledge. You too will succeed with these. That’s why I enjoin you to seek them from God, if you aren’t richly endowed with that yet, and to do your utmost best to keep improving in them if you are.

Dearly beloved, I concur that this woman might not epitomize all that a woman needs to be in order to be qualified as an excellent wife, more so in view of the paucity of information we are able to glean on her from the reference scriptural passage as above-quoted; yet, it is quite incontrovertible that her record offers ample tips on the basic requisite of such a direly needed woman in the marriage system. If you possess these in the least, you are on the way to winning the race to become the woman after God’s own heart, a woman meet for the marriage of His design and purpose.

Won’t you rather strive for that? It’s a challenge you are able to surmount!

May the Lord help you.

Author: Dayo St. John

[Pastor Dayo St. John is God’s Helmsman for Help for the Family Ministry. He and his family, as well as the Ministry’s Headquarters, are based in Lagos, Nigeria.]

info@helpforthefamily.com

helpforthefamilyministry@gmail.com

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