One of the ways a man or woman could “swear to his or her own hurt” (Psalms 15:1-4) is by saying “Yes, I do” to the “wrong” spouse. Yes, it is possible to get married to the very wrong person! Yes, there are many who are already married not to the spouse “meet” (right, fitting) for them! Really, one of the prominent reasons for much of the cries and crises in marriages today can be traced to this fundamental error. I pray for the unmarried folks: May this not be your portion, in Jesus name.
Now, if you have committed an error in the choice of marriage partner, what next? In God’s design and purpose, once you say “Yes, I do”, you are done for – and that is for life! Once you are married, you are married for life. Do not be deceived, there is no approved reason for divorce in God’s design! The only agent God permits to terminate any marriage union is Death (Malachi 2:16, Romans 7:1-3). Ok; it may be that you have truly made error of choice! Nevertheless, you are now hooked in it – hooked to your choice! Divorce is not God’s solution to or way out of erroneous marriage. What then is the way out?
First, it is needful to be really sure your choice is truly erroneous! Many who carry about the sense or notion of having made this mistake had only come about that on mere assumption! May be because the marriage is not working out well or as they wish? I guess there could be other real reasons for this state. That a marriage is not working well is not full-proof reason to suggest error of choice. There are many other reasons that could account for this; because there are many factors that sum up unto matrimonial success, in addition to making the right choice of marriage partner! So, the first thing to ascertain is the veracity of this supposition.
Yet, if the reason of error is genuinely confirmed, the next thing to do is to sincerely find out the reason for the mistaken choice. Could it be borne out of rebellion against known will of God? Could it be due to ignorance at the point of choice-making? It could be any other reason for that matter.
Whatever the reason, no excuse please! I recommend you humbly go to God to ask for His mercy and kind intervention. Contemplating separation or divorce is to complicate your case before God: attempt it not! Consider, repent and pray, specifically depending on the reason behind your error. God is merciful. He will forgive you. He can give your marriage a new foundation. He can give you a new beginning in that same marriage. He can give you the grace to cope in the meantime – including the grace to bear through whatever unavoidable consequences where rebellion is actually at the root of the error! Be ready to humbly rework your marriage with God. You will yet praise God in that same marriage!
Author: Dayo St. John
[Pastor Dayo St. John is God’s Helmsman for Help for the Family Ministry. He and his family, as well as the Ministry’s Headquarters, are based in Lagos, Nigeria.]
helpforthefamilyministry@gmail.com
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