SOME UNWHOLESOME BACKGROUNDS THAT CAN NEGATIVELY IMPACT ON YOUR MARRIAGE

Helpthefamily 584 Comments

We all have a background. Whereas some of the features of our background could be very helpful in the making of our own marriage to be enjoyable and successful, on the other hand, many of us have been exposed to some others that, if not decisively dealt with, could deal the hurtful blow on our marriage.

By our background, I mean the setting, environment and circumstances of our birth and upbringing. This will include the experiences we’ve been exposed to or personally gone through, especially in our formative years. It may be personal, parental, socio-cultural, spiritual, religion, educational, moral, etc. No matter who we are today, we all are definitely a product of any or a combination of these features. They all bear positively or negatively on our natural self to produce the personality or character that we turn out to be in life.

Maritally speaking some of these elements of our make-up may have to be expunged from our personality in order to make us the right material for building a home of heaven’s intention, and, of course, of our own heart desire. Left to be, they are capable of not only skewing our perception about marriage but equally strong enough to hinder or limit the blessings of marriage we could enjoy.

Now that you aren’t married, great if you will work with God urgently NOW to overcome the effect or impact of such negative features of your background on your personality, so that they won’t become the impediment to the realization of your dream of joyful and blessed marriage.

There are so many of these unhelpful features. Here, as a token, let me give you just 30 of such, albeit, in a summarized or outline piece:

  1. Out-of-wedlock birth – father known or unknown.
  2. Crises-ridden parental home – disharmony, always quarrelling, etc.
  3. Parental high-handedness – cruel disciplinary measures, merciless attitude, etc.
  4. Parental laxity – laissez –faire home environment, undue indulgence, no discipline, no principles or standard to follow
  5. Polygamous parenthood – with all its harmful consequences and tendencies
  6. Broken home – may be separation of parents or outright divorce with its consequential bitterness and fragmented life.
  7. Wrong parental examples – e.g. having promiscuous daddy or a smoker- mummy, etc. might have blurred you sense of the evil of such vices.
  8. Partiality among children – e.g. Jacob and Esau, Joseph and his brothers
  9. Dependence on housemaids to do all the house chores and every dirty job in the house.
  • Poverty-ridden parental background – may plant in the individual a sort of poverty mentality!
  1. Affluent parental background – where it is allow to inculcate in the individual injurious indulgence, sense of materialism, high-mindedness, etc.
  2. Wrong religious or moral orientation
  3. Environment where one grew up – may be a ghetto, a violent neighbourhood, a village, etc.
  • Solitary upbringing – where the children don’t mix, probably must always remain within their own apartment alone, etc.
  1. Unhygienic and dirty orientation
  2. Nature of parent’s business or trade – for instance, where the mother sells beers, cigarette, daddy running a brothel, etc
  3. Tribal or racial prejudice
  4. Where the individual have suffered from grievous child abuse or maltreatment.
  5. Having suffered sexual harassment – incest, raping, etc.
  6. Having being promiscuous and sexually loose – probably with several abortion experience.
  7. Having suffered being jilted, betrayed, heart-broken.
  • Death of former fiancé/fiancée
  1. Accursed family linage
  • Family altar or idol and your own idolatrous involvement.
  1. Experience of parents with in-laws and the impression this has left on you.
  2. Being an only child, only male or only female child – with its pampering effect.
  3. Inhospitable or unwelcoming parental home
  4. Personal health defect – may be born with physical challenges
  5. Complexes – that is exaggerated or obsessive feelings about oneself, one’s situations, etc. May be superiority or inferiority
  6. Self pride or egocentric tendency

You may elongate this list, because it’s definitely very elastic. I have listed the above out, not because they are the worst, but as a pointer to the substance of the subject of this message.

The object of this message, nevertheless, is to raise your consciousness to the possible dangers such unwholesome background could pose to our marriage, and to arise as a matter of urgency to do something tangible to set ourselves and our homes free from their scourge.

You will need to accept that these things are there in you, and that they are unwelcome parasites in you life. You will then need to seek the help of God in prayer [and fasting, if need be] to uproot them from your life. You must ask of the grace of God to master such unwanted features hence. Ask God to fill you up with the fullness of His Spirit who will then transform you and make you a new creature in Christ Jesus.

As you do, may you become the man or woman meet for the marriage of heaven’s design in the mighty name of Jesus Christ.  Amen.

God bless you.

 

Author: Dayo St. John

[Pastor Dayo St. John is God’s Helmsman for Help for the Family Ministry. He and his family, as well as the Ministry’s Headquarters, are based in Lagos, Nigeria.]

info@helpforthefamily.com

helpforthefamilyministry@gmail.com

Note: Be a part of our daily devotional tagged “THE FAMILY ALTAR”. It is posted on weekly tranches (Sunday – Saturday) on our Website [on the page: THE FAMILY ALTAR], and daily on the Ministry’s FB Page: www.facebook.com/HelpfortheFamilyMinistryLagosNigeria

 

info@helpforthefamily.com

helpforthefamilyministry@gmail.com

Note: Be a part of our daily devotional tagged “THE FAMILY ALTAR”. It is posted on weekly tranches (Sunday – Saturday) on our Website [on the page: THE FAMILY ALTAR], and daily on the Ministry’s FB Page: www.facebook.com/HelpfortheFamilyMinistryLagosNigeria

 

Get your copies of deeply enriching books from Pastor Dayo St. John, on AMAZON! Please visit www.amazon.com/author/dayostjohn

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i’m fine good work estradiol cena badania As a result, revenues rise gradually as a share of GDP. CBPP’s “optimistic” and “pessimistic” cases vary the assumptions about a few key policies and about how fast health care costs will grow. CBPP’s analysis also highlights a fact that policymakers should always keep in mind: our long-term budget challenges are rooted in demographic changes and economy-wide health-care costs.  We do not have an “out-of-control-spending crisis” and we do not have an “entitlement crisis.” 

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