Every wise builder of a house goes for rock-solidness when it comes to the nature of the foundation upon which to build. It will be folly and highly suicidal to build upon sand. Surprisingly, not a few yet opt for this sort of faulty foundation! No wonder the many collapsed building, often with great loss and casualties!

The foundation of a building is always hidden from the eyes of all else but those who laid it. But the fate of the building, however gargantuan and gorgeous it appears, is always determined by the unseen foundation. When you build on solid foundation, the house will withstand even the most vicious floods and abide in the face of tempestuous winds. On the other hand, when you build on sand, you can sure expect a calamitous ruin even with the mildest of same adverse condition!

That must be in tune with the thinking of heaven as the Lord Jesus reveals in Matt. 7:24-27,

“Every one who hears these my teachings and acts upon them will be found to resemble a wise man who builds his house upon rock; and the heavy rain falls, the swollen torrents come, and the winds blow and beat against the house; yet it does not fall, for its foundation is on rock. And every one who hears these my teachings and does not act upon them will be found to resemble a fool who builds his house upon sand. The heavy rain descends, the swollen torrents come, and the winds blow and burst upon the house, and it falls; and disastrous is the fall.”  (Weymouth’s NT)

Building a marriage/home can be likened to building a house. It takes gradual and definite steps and stages, starting from the foundation. The best time to lay the foundation of any marriage/home is at the entry point right through the courtship. The manner of how you agree to get married to any man/woman, and the manner of handling your courtship will go a long way to define the quality and the integrity of your marriage’s/home’s foundation. If you choose to build such a life and destiny-tied union on a sandy foundation, you will be the greatest fool not to expect the due fruit in due season!

It is in this light that I choose to drop this message into your consciousness. I will herein help you to identify just four of such sandy grounds you should never build your intending marriage upon. Think of others you know. If you are already resting on such foundation, this message should gear you up and cause you to end the misadventure! You may damn this message to your ultimate hurt! As for me, I would have warned you!!!

Let’s see them:

DECEPTION – Don’t trick any man/woman into marrying you; don’t let any man/woman con you into wedlock. Deception is lie. Deception is fraud. Deception is evil. Deception is of the Devil. A deceiver is a child of the Devil, for he is the Chief Deceiver and the father of liars!

When a man/woman con you into agreeing to marry him/her, even his/her vow to marry you will be sham! Such vows will not last for long. It is bound to be broken, for it was never with a pure mind!

I know of a woman who was deceived into marrying a man for twelve odd years. The man and his mother knew he would not be able to impregnate any woman because of the effect of improperly handled venereal infection. Yet, the “innocent” woman was pampered into staying married to this con-man until the bubble bursted after twelve painful years.

I heard of another woman who was deceived into marriage by a man in the church who was never a child of God. The object of the man in joining the church and becoming a “Christian” was to catch a babe for marriage! He got it right: he caught a deceived one! After two kids, the man showed his true colour. Said he: “I was never a Christian! I only came into the church to marry. No more church going in this house!”.

That is why you must be very careful about what led you into relationship with any man/woman, as well as being very mentally and spiritually alert and real in courtship. If you are not self-deluded, it will be difficult for you to be deceived by any one. But if you are personally lost in fantasy, you are certainly prone to falling flat before dishonest toasters. Be warned!

DIABOLISM – Some go to the extent of invoking evil power (via love portion/concoction, love rings, enchantments, etc.) in order to win a man/woman into marriage. This is satanic manipulation. That is nothing but wicked and devilish. Yes, you may attract the “uncovered” (by the blood of Jesus Christ) one this way, but, I tell you, you would have at best postponed your evil days! Look, it doesn’t matter how potent such diabolical means you used is, it definitely has an expiry date. When it expires, I can assure you, your marriage and all it offers and stands for will expire with it. Then, your latter end will be worse that the beginning!

Examples abound out there. It won’t end otherwise if you choose the same path. Behold, I warn you!

BEAUTY – Does the Bible not specifically tell us that “beauty is vain” (Prov. 31:30)? It means that beauty has no (lasting) value. It is empty of (real) substance! Should a man build marriage on such vanity? Yet, many do! If you marry a man or woman merely because of his/her comely physical appearance, you may discover too late that you have married a wolf in sheep’s garment! Your story will simply add to the testimonies of how not to marry!

The Bible says, “Fair looks are a deceit, and a beautiful form is of no value; but a woman who has the fear of the Lord is to be praised” (Prov. 31:30, Bible in Basic English). What you should seek for is “…the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price” (1Pet. 3:4, KJV).

Yes, “the unseen man of the heart” [BBE], as against the façade of physical attractiveness. The Bible says, “…for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart” (1Sam. 16:7, KJV). God will not work with you as far as your choice of who to marry is based on the parameter of “outward appearance”, rather than on the “inner worth”. A man is who he really is in the heart (inwardly). That is his real character. Often, the outward show is a charade! Beauty can and do fade away. Love built on beauty can easily turn loath! Jacob and Rachel is a biblical case-study. Read through Genesis chapters 29-31 for some dossier on beautiful Rachel. It will amaze you!

Look, there are many beautiful / handsome mamades, wolves, serpents, dogs, swines, witches/wizards, goats, lions/lionesses, etc. out there in the world. Many of them are finding themselves into our “cold” churches these days. You may find yourself “receiving” one of the kinds, except you submit your passion to the Holy Spirit!

 You are warned!

FORNICATION – Honestly, this is a very troubling trend even in the church of Jesus Christ these last days. Fornication, talking of pre-marital sex, has become a rampant pleasure among courting Christians in our days. I have been grieved many times over whenever I got to know of so many supposedly “spiry” (so-assumed highly spiritual) Bros and Sis already having sex while yet in courtship. Honestly, it’s digusting! I don’t know whatever convinces them that that is not fornication. I wander if they are supposing that God had de-listed fornication from the catalog of hell-leading sins! I don’t want to believe that such are deceived to believe that God won’t mind, that He won’t be offended, or that He will yet be a path of such iniquitous bond!

The truth remains: “Behold, the LORD’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save, or his ear dull, that it cannot hear; but your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you so that he does not hear” (Isa. 58:1-2, RSV). The truth is that you and your marital arrangement will be cut off from God by such a “capital” sin as fornication. You will simply be on your own; no, you will be in Satan’s web! You and your marriage will be enmeshed in Satan’s quagmire! No pretext avails here. God’s hand is off the courtship that is defiled by fornication. Of course, that pleases the Devil a lot, for it offers him much-sought open-door to sneak in for a feast!

I just counseled today with a woman whose husband has gone with another lady. They got married less than two years ago. The man and the woman are “Christians”! The man is even a minister in a Church (a big and popular Pentecostal church!). They got married legally. Their wedding received pastoral blessing. By the way, they did pre-marital counseling in the church. She confirmed that they were told of the sinfulness of pre-marital sex during the church’s intending-couples’ coaching. Nevertheless, the Coaches/Teachers were just ranting, it seems; because the Bro and Sis were dead to such truth! All along, they were unrepentantly involved in sexual escapade! Yea, the man has just decided to move on with, probably, a better sexy pig! Only God’s mercy can return the heart of the man to her.

This is a warning – for you in particular!

I hope we are still friends?

I remain

Author: Dayo St. John

[Pastor Dayo St. John is God’s Helmsman for Help for the Family Ministry. He and his family, as well as the Ministry’s Headquarters, are based in Lagos, Nigeria.]

info@helpforthefamily.com

helpforthefamilyministry@gmail.com

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