I believe this should be a follow-up to my message titled “How Heart-deep is Your Love”. Have you received that? If not, ask, and you shall receive it!

That love is a fundamental requirement in any marriage is doubtless. But there are all kinds of “love” out there! – like, “I love my car”, “I love cat”, “I love cheese”, “I love my sugar mummy!”, etc.

But when we talk of growing a God-glorifying marriage, what manner of love is required? None other than God-type love. That’s the only perfect kind of love that can grow and sustain marriage of God’s intention.

Here, let me show you the colour-mix [the attributes] of such love as enunciated in 1Cor. 13:4-8.

“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…. “

(1.)  Charity suffers long. Has a long mind; to the end of which neither trials, adversities, persecutions, nor provocations, can reach.  The love of God, and of our neighbour for God’s sake, is patient towards all men. It’s the kind of love that has almost endless capacity to defer wrath. It gives room for all the weaknesses, ignorance, errors, and infirmities of the other person.

(2.) Is kind. It is tender and compassionate in itself, and kind and obliging to others; it is mild, gentle, and benign; and, if called to suffer, inspires the sufferer with the most amiable sweetness, and the tenderest affection.  It is also submissive to all the dispensations of God; and creates trouble to no one.

(3.) Does not envy. It is not jealous. With this kind of love in a man’s heart, he is never grieved because another possesses a greater portion of earthly, intellectual, or spiritual blessings. Those who have this pure love rejoice as much at the happiness, the honour, and comfort of others, as they can do in their own.  They are ever willing that others should be preferred before them.

(4.) Does not parade itself. KJV renders it as “vaunteth not itself”. This means that it does not brag, neither does it acts rashly, insolently; is not inconstant. Does not set itself forward – i.e., does not desire to be noticed or applauded; but wishes that God may be all in all. Does not hastily condemn any one; never passes a severe sentence on a slight or sudden view of things. Nor does it ever act or behave in a violent, headstrong, or precipitate manner.

(5.) Is not puffed up. Is not inflated with a sense of its own importance; for it knows it has nothing but what it has received; and that it deserves nothing that it has got. Every man whose heart is full of this kind of godly love is full of humility; for there is no man so humble as he whose heart is cleansed from all sin. True humility arises from a sense of the fulness of God in the soul of a man.

(6.)  Doth not behave rudely. Godly love does not behave itself unseemly or inappropriately.  Love never acts out of its place or character; observes due decorum and good manners; is never rude, bearish, or brutish; and is ever willing to become all things to all men, that it may please them for their good to edification.  No ill-bred man, or what is termed rude or unmannerly, is a Christian.  A man may have a natural bluntness, or be a clown, and yet there be nothing boorish or hoggish in his manner.

(7.) Does not seek its own. Is not desirous of her own welfare only, but of her neighbour’s also. Love is never satisfied but in the welfare, comfort, and salvation of all. That man is no Christian who is solicitous for his own happiness alone; and cares not how the world goes, so long he is comfortable. It’s the colour of love that seeks not its own – ease, pleasure, honour, or temporal advantage – as the chief end (i.e. is not selfish), but is benevolent.  It’s a self-sacrificing love – “Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13RSV)

(8.) Is not (easily) provoked. With this kind of love you do not get easily irritated, made sour or bitter. Not fussy, that is.

(9.) Thinks no evil. This implies that the one whose heart is filled with this sort of love does not invent or devise any evil; or, does not reason on any particular act or word so as to infer evil from it; for this would destroy his love to his brother; it would be ruinous to charity and benevolence. Thinks no evil, is not disposed to impute to others evil designs, takes no account or record of evil. It believes no evil where no evil seems; does not willingly think evil of any; neither infers evil where it does not appear. Never supposes that a good action may have a bad motive. It casts out all jealousies, all evil surmises, all readiness to believe evil. “Love worketh no ill to his neighbour; therefore love is fulfilling of the law” (Rom. 13:10).

(10.)  Does not rejoice in iniquity. Rejoices not in falsehood, but on the contrary, rejoices in the truth. Yea, weeps at either the sin or folly of even an enemy; takes no pleasure in hearing or in repeating it, but desires it may be forgotten for ever.

(11.) But rejoices in the truth. Rejoices wherever truth, righteousness and godliness prevails.

(12.)  Bears all things. A person under the influence of this love never makes the sins, follies, faults, or imperfections of any man, the subject either of censure or conversation.  He covers them as far as he can; and if alone privy to them, he retains the knowledge of them in his own bosom as far as he ought. Love covers all things – as the Bible says in 1Pet. 4:8, “for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.” (KJV) “because in love there is forgiveness for sins without number.” (BBE). Whatever evil the lover of mankind sees, hears, or knows of any one, he mentions it to none; it never goes out of his lips, unless where absolute duty constrains to speak.

(13.) Believes all things.  Is ever ready to believe the best of every person, and will credit no evil of any but on the most positive evidence; gladly receives whatever may tend to the advantage of any person whose character may have suffered from obloquy and detraction; or even justly, because of his misconduct.

(14.) Hopes all things. When there is no place left for believing good of a person, then love comes in with its hope. Love forecloses pessimism, but engenders optimism in ultimate good even in the face most hopeless current evidence.

(15.) Endures all things. Bears up under all persecutions and mal-treatment from open enemies and professed friends; bears adversities with an even mind, as it submits with perfect resignation to every dispensation of the providence of God; and never says of any trial, affliction, or insult, this cannot be endured.

(16.) Never fails. This love never falls off, because it bears, believes, hopes, and endures all things. It’s the kind of love that “Many waters cannot quench… neither can the floods drown” (SoS. 8:7).

This is the nature of love God demands between brethren and spouses:

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” (Eph. 5:25)

“As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love. This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.” (Jn. 15:9, 12)

Do the above describe the love in practice in your home as initiated and encouraged by you? If not, I bet, you have no love of God in you! You must yield yourself to the Spirit of God now – in prayer and willing choice and determination –  that He might pour this pure and perfect love in your heart today (Rom. 5:5).

I love you!

God bless you.

Author: Dayo St. John

[Pastor Dayo St. John is God’s Helmsman for Help for the Family Ministry. He and his family, as well as the Ministry’s Headquarters, are based in Lagos, Nigeria.]

info@helpforthefamily.com

helpforthefamilyministry@gmail.com

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