Is it biblically right for a Christian to do family planning (i.e. take medical prescription to prevent conception / child birth)?

This is one question I have had to confront quite a number of times in our Couples’ meetings. I have had to douse much needless stress on this matter, hopefully to the satisfaction of many rather that all! However, it is real that there are diverse view-points and, indeed, uncalled-for confusion on this subject.

Here, I will like to raise my opinion in the light of the word of God as I believe to be true and right. I hope you will find this logical and spiritually sound and profitable.

The first thing I will want us to agree is that, naturally, whenever a matured man and a matured woman copulate [i.e. come together sexually], the coming together of the two reproductive cells should result in conception – except there is natural or spiritual hindrance. In that case, every act of sexual intercourse between a man and his wife will always naturally lead to conception, and then child-birth. Which means, to avoid that, husband and wife should altogether avoid sexual intercourse if they don’t want conception!

Now, just imagine that scenario in any marriage – where the husband and wife only come together sexually for the purpose of child bearing! Imagine that this is the case in your marriage? What a dry and dying marriage that will be!

The questions are, “Is God’s purpose for “sex” in marriage limited to child bearing?” Again, “should it be God’s plan that we keep being “fruitful” [in terms of the fruit of the womb] just as long as we are able to?” ‘Should it be God’s plan for our sexuality that husband and wife should abstain from copulation when they don’t want to have child?” In my opinion, the answer to all these questions is emphatically, NO! God has much more reserved for our good in sex. There are other highly beneficial and righteous purposes sex is supposed to serve in marriage besides reproduction.

I believe that, first and foremost, sex is that mysterious glue that bonds a man and a woman together in marriage relationship. It has the power to cleave or “weld” the hearts of the two partners together than anything else. Sex is the ultimate consummation of marital union, without which the union is just ceremonial, dry and life-less! Imagine a newly-wedded couple who would not come together in sexual intercourse days or months after the wedding day! Would that be marriage – a living one?

Again, marriage is a powerful lubricant of the engine of marriage. Apply it regularly and in proper measure and see the engine working effectively. Deny it and see the engine knocked! And so, I believe, for a marriage to remain healthy [all other things being equal], concerning sex, it is the more the merrier!

I see sex in marriage also to be a healing balm. A lot of marital “illnesses” could be “healed” on the conjugal bed! Quarrels, disagreements, bitterness, etc. could be resolved during sexual engagement.

Medically, sex also serves many advantages. For instance, frequent sexual intercourse (twice or more per week) lowers your chance of a fatal heart attack. The DHEA, released with orgasm, can reduce the risk of heart disease.  And testosterone reduces harm to the coronary muscles if a heart attack does occur. Also, orgasm causes a surge in oxytocin and endorphins that help people sleep. Yet there are many more!

If you read along the lines of 1 Cor. 7:5 very well, you will discover that even God is against sexual abstinence between married couples except “for prayer and fasting”. Even at that, the period must be defined and limited, and the whole thing must be mutually agreed between the husband and wife. Should we negotiate this matter any longer, if God takes this stand?

Now, in view of the above, should sex be limited to child bearing in marriage? It is clear that this will be stupid and suicidal! One of the quickest destroyers of marriage relationship is sexual denial. There is no bible-approved basis for intra-marriage sex avoidance except as provided in 1 Cor. 7:5. Any other reasonable reasons are merely circumstantial – like health condition, emotional problems, etc.

So, if we must enjoy sex in marriage, and we do not want it to result to pregnancy, what else but to prevent conception? I think this is where Family Planning comes in. I think family planning or birth control goes beyond population control for resources purpose, which is a prominent goal of human government world-over. It does have innate benefit of helping married people to enjoy of the blessings of sex without the risk of unwanted pregnancy. Of course, abortion is not a near option! Abortion is murder, Period!!

As Christians, I think what should concern us more is the mode and method involved. Is there any way we could get family planning without offending God? I believe there are.

God is against murder [terminating life]. It is a criminal offence in heaven’s judicial system, and it attracts capital punishment. In that case, I am against any family planning that comes with the termination of life – even of a day-old foetus. This will be the case if the process of family planning method or means starts after the man’s and the woman’s sex cells have come together and received the breathe of life. A Christian should avoid this completely, I counsel.

On the other hands, there are other methods and means that effectively prevent the coming together of the two life-carrying cells. They are simply left to abide alone and expire as they are. No life is formed, and, so, no life is lost. Sex is enjoyed to fulfill other purposes without conception. I think this makes sense. I believe this offends no law of God. I trust that God will not condemn us in that case. I counsel that Christian should prefer this option if and when they need family planning.

I have heard some use the case of Judah’s second son called Onan in Gen. 38:1-10 to suppose that God is against family planning. I think this is misguided. The problem he had with God was not because he “wasted” his sperms [as some supposed]. He was condemned by God for his wicked heart of not wanting to raise an heir for his dead senior brother called Er as the laws of God for that dispensation demanded [see verse 9 & 10]. His case, therefore, cannot set a principle for avoiding family planning altogether! There are other ways we ‘waste” sperms and yet God will not drop the hammer on us. A good example is in the case of bed-wetting.

Finally, I need to state that it is generally advised that newly wedded couples “avoid” family planning until after the 2^nd conception and birth. This must be to avoid possibility of hindering needed conception. This is however subjective, even though it makes sense. There is no scriptural backing for this that compels obedience. Let each case therefore be attended at its merit.

 Again, it is my advice that we must consult qualified hands for our family planning needs. We must take proper counsels on the pros and cons of each method and mean. Wisdom should guide our choice – and that should be to choose any method that is good for our physiological system and that does not come with damaging side-effects.

May God give us more light.

Author: Dayo St. John

[Pastor Dayo St. John is God’s Helmsman for Help for the Family Ministry. He and his family, as well as the Ministry’s Headquarters, are based in Lagos, Nigeria.]

info@helpforthefamily.com

helpforthefamilyministry@gmail.com

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